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Hey everyone.

Well, the see-saw is still in operation, only now I don't mind because I'm on the end that's up in the air! Today has been, contrary to all my expectations, an extremely nice day indeed. Let's have some more of those if possible. I have not been without my slight wobbles and temptations, but it's all good.

Hey everyone.

Hey everyone. Well, glad to say I'm doing a lot better than I was this time last night. I don't know that this is going to be a very long one, as today has really been pretty uneventful, but here goes.

Hey. I know people read this, much as it amazes me, so, hope you've had a good day. Today I had my first serious melt down and it made me feel pretty shitty, if you want the truth, not proud of myself at all. No, I haven't given into temptation, but all the same, today was definitely a C minus, could do better.

Have you ever heard the great radio drama serial Earthsearch? There's a bit in that where the two evil computers are brainwashing the four members of the spaceship crew, never mind why for the moment, and they're saying over and over, "You are normal, normal, normal, normal!" That's kind of how today feels. It's stopped being a big new thing now, it has started to become routine, it's started to become normal. That's not to say it's easy.

This is the kind of day when slips happen. The "I'm being a good girl, I'm starting the thing that will lead to a new me" glow is fading, something stressful happens, apart from that nothing much is going on, the aching, empty void inside starts getting annoying and you think oh, to hell with this, why am I doing this, I've only got one life for freak's sake! Then the temptation to either slip up or chuck the whole thing gets very strong. Did I give in, this early in the journey? I'm just in the mood to tell you.

It's time to get serious. Day two, we've got all the stuff, this time we buckle down and do this thing properly. Lady Willpower is in the driving seat and if L doesn't like it, she'll just have to lump it! Well people, after a shaky start I'm here to tell you it hasn't been half as bad as I was expecting, but this is only my first full day. Let's see what I'm like when I'm halfway through the second week and sick to death of healthy food, just longing for chocolate and pizza! Right, this won't get the baby a new hat, let's get on and do this!

Well, day one, only not really. Today we have to wait for the box to arrive, we know it's coming today, only we're not sure what time until we get a text, so it's what I'd call a half and half day. I was half bad, half good today. Here's how it goes.

Ok. So this is day 0. With my increasing health problems and decreasing mobility due to a degenerating bone disease, I finally finally have to get to grips with my weight. I've always accepted my size, I've always carried far too much weight and worn larger size clothes, never envying others their slim figures, but now there's a problem. Clothes that should fit are getting tight. More upsettingly, my rings don't fit anymore, including my wedding set on my left hand. I feel ungainly and horrible and it's time to act.

Introduction.