The DietChef Thing: Day 1.

Well, day one, only not really. Today we have to wait for the box to arrive, we know it's coming today, only we're not sure what time until we get a text, so it's what I'd call a half and half day. I was half bad, half good today. Here's how it goes.

Morning, managed to get a decent night's sleep, first one in a while, woke up stiff and dizzy but that's parr for the course. Got in a shower and started feeling very odd indeed. Now yesterday I drasticly lowered my calory intake in preparation for smaller portions and I also cut out a lot of the sugar and junk I've been eating. I don't think that went down well with a hot shower before breakfast, duh!

Anyway, breakfast was my usual, cereal, sugary I'm afraid, whole fat milk because it was all we had, and coffee with sugar and hardly any milk, no cream! ouch, did that bite or what! It'll be worse tomorrow, L, you'll have to get with the program, old girl! Oh yes, before you all think I've gone off what remains of my head, I kind of have this internal dialogue with myself, always have, so you might get a bit of that in these ramblings of mine. It's like I have the good half of myself, let's call her Lady Willpower, and the bad half, I'll refer to her as L, which is what a lot of my friends call me for short. The two halves fight and usually L wins, but we'll have to change that!

Right, so on with the day. Groceries arrive, yay! Fresh veg, no fat milk, no fat plain yogurt, arteficial sweetener, see L, no sugar in your coffee tomorrow, mwahahahaha! We feel virtuous. My noble husband helps put everything away. Luckily he's always had to fend for himself in the kitchen so he's not going to be adversely affected by any of this, I wouldn't let him be anyway.

Aha, there's my crazy yelling chimpanzee text tone denoting a text from someone other than family or friends. Yes, it's from DietChef, or rather UK Mail, telling me my box will be delivered between 4:15 and 5:15 PM. Crap! That means no DC lunch and possibly no dinner if they're late. Oh well, we'll have to wait and see. I'm also worried about how I'll know what's what. We have a very good scanning program here, hope that can tell.

Around lunch time L starts moaning that she's hungry, starving in fact, and aren't there some turtles left from that box we had? In fact, didn't nice kind husband get a new box before all this diet silliness started? Yes well, he likes turtles, we are no longer interested, we can drink lots of water and wait. But Lady Willpower loses the argument, I'm ashamed to say. About two the pangs just get too much to bear and I succumb to temptation and eat five turtles, yes, I know that's a lot. They are only bite size, but still. No point in doing this if I'm not honest.

The afternoon goes on, I have an awful headache/migraine, not sure which. I have taken in, even taking into consideration the turtles, so much less sugar today than usual, I think that's what might be causing it. I did do some reading and research about what happens when you change your eating habits and I read that if you eat a lot of sugar and fat and suddenly change you can get headaches and feel tired and lightheaded for the first couple of days. So, we tough it out.

My box arrives bang on time. Nearer to four than to five, thankfully. It's big but not as huge as I was dreading, also beautifully packed and presented. Well, should be for that dough, L huffs.

Sorting through it is not nearly as difficult as I was afraid it would be. At the top are my snacks in one compartment, people, I have chips, well soya snacks they call them, but they look like our small size packets of chips/crisps. Also microwave popcorn. Also cookies. Ok, those are tiny but I thought I'd just try them to see. Also something called oat bar, of which I'm deeply suspicious, but again, don't know unless you try. L thinks it sounds too healthy. I sort all the snakcs, I get to have one a day, which is way better than nothing, into a bag.

Next we have breakfast, and here's where they messed up. Oatmeal or porridge, yuk! Not too many of them though, and they are sending replacement breakfasts out for me. Then lots of different kinds of muisli/granola, which I luckily love, I can have it either with milk or no fat plain yogurt. Then there are a couple of other mess ups, but those I can deal with, a couple of muisli bars and a big, soft, chocolate chip cookie. Yes, you heard right, how they make one of those low calorie I don't know, watch this space, it is quite a nice size. They do that stuff for people who have to grab breakfast in the car I guess, but I didn't want them. Never mind.

Lunches consist of pasta pots or couscous pots that you have to put hot water on to, rather like a diet pot noodle, plus a huge and astonishing variety of soup, ready made in pouches that you just put in the microwave. The thing that's amazing me is the size of everything. I was prepared for tiny, and some of the granola, like the chocolate one, is pretty small, but most of it is decent sized portions that, eeked out with yogurt will be plenty breakfast for me who only ever has a bowl of cereal. I never eat lunch, so to make myself eat a bowl of soup should fill up a hungry whole and stop me from the snacking that is my real problem. The soups are really nice sized pouches and so are the pasta pots, not quite as big as a pot noodle or Romaine Noodles tub in the US, but not that much smaller.

The lunches and the flat trays of dinners are tidily packed in the bottom of the box, no sorting into bags needed. After we remove the excess cardboard, the bags of snacks and breakfast goes back in on top, box shuts and slides neatly under our table so you can't see it when the chairs are in. I should explain, this is a one room studio apartment with a tiny kitchen and hardly any cupboard space. There was never going to be anywhere to store this stuff but in its box.

OK, every bone in my body is singing the Anville chorus, so I have a rest. Then it's high time for supper. Oh my lord, are we really going to do this? Yes, L, we really are! Couldn't we have pizza tonight and start tomorrow? No, we certainly could not!

I microwave a package of fresh but ready sliced spring greens, they kind of steam in the pack. While they stand I cook creamy mushroom pasta. Creamy? really? I decant the greens into a bowl, give myself a table spoonful, I'll get two more servings out of that pack, I love greens. For a wonder, that horrible film peels off the top of the tray like a dream and my fingers don't get burned. I'm sitting at the table in a little over six minutes, which is a good thing because I'm about to fall down. It's too long really, but I'll have to tough it. Yes, you'll likely get health stuff in here as well as weight stuff, just for once I'm going to allow myself to tell it like it is.

Ok, first bite. Hmm. Pasta's a little over done, but then most pasta is in these pasta bake things. Mushrooms are delicious but I'd like a few more. Sauce is absolutely amazingly velvety smoothe and yes, creamy. There's plenty of white pepper, but I'd like more salt. But overall, I'm impressed. The greens, which I've just lightly seasoned, are delicious, crunchy tender and yummy. I'll definitely get more of those as they're inexpensive. a lot of the serving suggestions are for salad. I can't stand long enough to prepare a salad, and anyway I really don't go for a cold salad with hot food, I don't know why. But they are only suggestions, I can have what veg I want as long as I don't have anything silly like lots of potatoes or starchy things. I probably won't eat any potatoes at all, it's a dicy thing introducing them and I'd rather not go there. The plate of food isn't huge, I wasn't expecting it to be, but it isn't teeny tiny either, I'm a fairly slow eater and it takes me a little while to get through it. I can't bear that with a diet meal when you're done eating in two bites and one swallow and you think huh? Was that it?

So, I clean my plate to the last drop and crumb, you'd better believe it! think "Watch this, Effie!" no, not quite that bad, but pretty nearly! Now anyone who hasn't read the hunger games, go google the reference! Then I get on with my evening. I feel satisfied, but not for as long as I'd like to. About half past eight I'm hungry again. But this time I'm good, because I know I have that snack waiting.

And at nine thirty I have a cup of tea and open my bag of cheese and red onion soya snacks. I've had diet snacks before. Blech! Is the only word I could say about them. But not these. I promise, no whitewashing here. If something is filthy, I will candidly say so. These were so good! They were light and crunchy, not hard enough to break your teeth like those oven baked chips. The flavoring on them was real, not all arteficial like those horrible snackerjack rice cracker things. I had to go slowly or I'd have scarfed the lot in two seconds flat. I honestly wouldn't have known they were diet snacks.

And so here I am, sitting here enjoying my late evening, writing to you, dear blog. Tomorrow's the big one. Tomorrow we take a deep breath, put all thoughts of turtles out of our minds forever and do this thing properly.

Food eaten today.

Breakfast: Actimel, Cocoa Pops, whole fat milk, coffee, milk, 2 sugars.

Dinner: Creamy Mushroom Pasta, sliced spring greens.

Snack: cheese and red onion soy snacks.

Drinks: tea, small amount no fat milk, weaning myself off it.

Bad? yes, five turtles.

Are you hungry? yes.

Mood: determined.

Music: Wicked original Broadway Cast: One Short Day.