The DietChef Thing: Day 2

It's time to get serious. Day two, we've got all the stuff, this time we buckle down and do this thing properly. Lady Willpower is in the driving seat and if L doesn't like it, she'll just have to lump it! Well people, after a shaky start I'm here to tell you it hasn't been half as bad as I was expecting, but this is only my first full day. Let's see what I'm like when I'm halfway through the second week and sick to death of healthy food, just longing for chocolate and pizza! Right, this won't get the baby a new hat, let's get on and do this!

I was expecting to wake up starving, with my first thought being food. That's what usually happens when I'm dieting. That's one of the two big reasons I really detest dieting. When I'm doing this I think of food the entire time. Everything is about food. It's in films, in plays, in books, on Twitter, everywhere I look is food, all over the place. I'm not going to do what someone once did and ask my friends not to talk about it! Mind you, that was in extreme circumstances and for a limited time, but all the same! Not me, I'm going to tough it, everyone else's life doesn't alter because mine has. But switching back to my point, when I'm dieting all I ever think about is food and it wears me down. I try to distract myself in every way I can, but it never works. The other reason I hate dieting is, of course, that, to date, nothing has ever worked. My word, excuse me, I wander down sideroads worse than Stephen fry! Wish I could write half as well.

OK, so, woke up and didn't immediately think of food, didn't feel as if I could devour my duvet, one point to me. Also, and I don't know if this is coincidence, placebo, psychosomatic or what, but I have a lot fewer bone imps today and no Migraine. So, it's Thursday and Becky is here, the care giver who comes to get me up when my regular lady, Karen, is on her day off. So I show her what needs doing and she takes it in stride, one worry out of the way, was afraid she'd give me a lecture or something. Time for breakfast.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, which is to say oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear! Breakfast is the living worst! I used to love my lovely little bottle of Actimel yogurt drink, I think it's called Dan-activ in the US, which would kick start my system, my lovely bowl of sugary cereal with whole fat milk and my large mug of sugary, creamy coffee. Today I have a packet of something which calls itself chocolate granola, mixed with 100g natural no fat yogurt and coffee with a tiny drop of no fat milk and two Truvia tablets. The bowl of breakfast looks a decent size, smaller than usual but I'm expecting that.

First bite. It's edible. The granola's nice and crunchy which I like, but the cocoa taste is bitter. The sweetness really isn't coming through, maybe the yogurt is messing it up, it's thin and very sharp, not nice. Maybe I'll try milk when the yogurt's used up. I take an age to chew all that bird food, honestly that's exactly what granola reminds me of. By the end I'm incredibly thirsty, not having been able to have any juice or yogurt drink to start with. I fall on my coffee and nearly choke. My husband is a whizz with coffee, he makes the best drinks in the world. But this is a hell draught of unspeakable vileness, and it's not his fault. The sweetness is as fake as plastic pearls and about as tacky. It's so over sweet but not with the right sweetness, if I can describe it that way, that it makes my mouth literally cringe. I take about three gulps, to get something wet into my throat, and the sink gets the rest of it. I don't think even it liked the taste much, it gurgled at me in deep disgust!

So then we went on with our morning. I have heartburn. Is it the yogurt or the coffee, I don't know. I do get hunger pangs, but they're very bearable, L didn't mention turtles, she was, actually, very good today. Lunchtime arrives. Creamy Pesto Pasta pot. Challenge time. I have to stand up while the kettle boils and lift it, pour boiling water into a cardboard carton and put the kettle down again. So what's the big deal? Um, bones. I'm terrified I'll drop the kettle one day, haven't yet but some serious tippage has occured.

All right, we try to take the foil off the tub which looks very much like a Romaine noodles tub, much smaller than one of our pot noodles but not too small. The foil rips. Damn! We needed it to stay whole. Noble husband filled the kettle for me but it's still hellish heavy and I'm terrified I'll drop it, what a whimp! There's a bit of card making a kind of line on the outside of this cup, is that where to fill the water up to? Forgot to ask Becky. Well I'll fill it up to there, it looks about right. I fill the cup up to the line, pull the foil lid back over as well as I can, leave it to stand for five minutes, phew. Then I go to retrieve it. Ouch. Very hot, too flexible cup in wonky hands, don't like this at all, will leave it a bit longer next time till it's cooled some. Get a spoon, let's see what we've got.

First bite. I don't know if I put in too much water, but the twists of pasta are swimmming in a thin sauce, rather like the broth that Japanese noodles are served in. The pasta is cooked through apart from a tiny little end here and there, there really weren't more than two or three tiny little underdone bits. There are vegetables in the broth, though I wouldn't like to hazard what. The broth/sauce is delicious once I'm used to its consistency, not powdery, well seasoned and well flavored, very yummy. The only drawback is that it's both messy and noisy to eat. I can't do it without doing that Japanese slurp thing and I get sauce on my chin, my robe, everywhere! Swabs, nurse, and plenty of 'em! Still, with a cup of my husband's amazing tea, no milk, hurray, I am contentedly satisfied.

In the afternoon the mail comes, bringing my Graze box. The one I'd ordered before I decided to start dieting and clean forgotten about. I can't resist taking a peek to see what's inside. Peanut butter dip with hemp sticks, hazelnut dippers with pure chocolate dip, strawberry cheesecake, which is a mixture of dried fruit and tiny little biscuits, if I remember rightly, and white chocolate and raspberry, more dried fruit and white chocolate buttons. We thought, before the iron hand of Lady Willpower fell on L's protesting head, that if we allowed ourselves one healthy snack per day we might not eat so much chocolate. Anyway. Graze box sits there, cooing seductively at us. For once, Lady Willpower and L put up a united front: we don't listen to it. It tries to tell us how healthy food couldn't possibly be that bad for us and we sing Yellow Submarine at it very loudly, to make it shut up. It tells us it knows we're hungry, and can positively feel our mouths watering for peanut butter and white chocolate, and we throw it in the back of a cupboard we can't get into without really having to bend down which would hurt us. So there! That'll learn it! One more point to me!

Finally it's dinner time and I'm hungry but not starving. Dinner is Coq Au Vin, a breast of chicken in red wine sauce cooked with pearl onions, mushrooms and strips of bacon. With this I'm having another serving of the lightly steamed spring greens. Because I cooked the greens yesterday I only have to reheat, and the chicken is ready in two minutes. I'm quickly sitting at the table, this smells really good!

First bite: nom! There is a really nice sized piece of chicken. There's also a lot of sauce, really wish I had some mashed potato to soak it up with! The chicken is succulent and tender, the sauce is rich and full of flavour, no under seasoning this time. I can both taste and smell bacon, but I can't actually feel any in my mouth. the tiny baby onions are delicious but the mushrooms have been cut too thin to be as tasty as they could have been. I'm afraid I do an even worse job of "Watch this, Effie!" with my plate, there's a lot of sauce, I have no bread and I'm not wasting a drop. Ok, I don't lick the plate with my tongue, but it gets pretty thoroughly scraped let me tell you! I really wish I had the calory allowance to have an orange or a few strawberries or something after my dinner. But because of my body mass index I have to stick rigidly to 1200 calories a day. I reckon that's about half what I've been putting away.

Ok, so on with the evening, a natter with friends and a good movie. I'm finding the trouble with this food is that it fills me up when I've eaten it, but I don't stay full for very long. Maybe as I get used to the routine it'll get better. Well, I get caught up in something, so it's nine-thirty before I have my snack and I'm excited about this because it's popcorn, yes really. Slightly sweetened popcorn at that. Ninety seconds in the microwave and I've got a decent sized bagful.

First bite. Well, what's not to like! They can't mess up popcorn. Actually they could, because I'm assuming this sweetener is arteficial, but it's good, whatever it is, wish I knew! There isn't too much of it and it's very evenly distributed. Before I know it the popcorn is all gone and eating is over for the day.

And that's my first day done. No bads, let's hope I can keep it up. I've done well today, I'm weaning myself off milk in drinks, nothing has passed my lips except what's been prescribed, I honestly cannot remember that ever, ever happening to me in a diet before. That's why I like this, there's no room for leeway. You stick to it or you don't, there's no ifs, buts or maybes. I kind of feel that if I have a turtle, or eat something from that graze box, I may as well have thrown that money down the drain. I've heard some people on Youtube say ooh, if you slip you just go back on it, but that's not how I see it. Mind you, this is only my first full day, if I slip it's going down here honestly, no whitewashing, that's a promise. Have I been hungry? Yes. Not bad through the day, but now, I'm hungrier than I've been all day. But I'm not even remotely tempted to do anything about it. Let's see if I still feel like that in a fortnight or longer.

Food eaten today.

Breakfast: Chocolate Granola, natural yogurt, coffee with no fat milk and 2 Truvia.

Lunch: Creamy Pesto Pasta Pot.

Dinner: Coq AuVin, serving of lightly steamed spring greens.

Snack: bag of slightly sweetened popcorn.

Drinks through the day: tea with tiny drop of milk, latterly with no milk.

Bad? No.

Are you hungry? Yes, starving actually.

Mood: Relaxed.
Music: Avril Lavene: Anything But Ordinary.

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